Last Night...

This is a post I wrote last night, before I had created the blog.  It's spastic, but I'll post it anyway. :)
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I’m sitting in my (employer’s) kitchen eating $9 cottage cheese and avoiding going back to my room because of a Very Large Spider under my nightstand. My shoe stuffed with washcloths and tied to the end of a 5-foot tripod already failed me.  That’s how it got under the nightstand in the first place—running from the detached shoe.  And my employer retired to his room for the night, so he’s not available to rescue me.  He would if I asked.  He already offered to kill a spider in the corner of my patio (it’s one of those ones whose legs are grouped in sets of two.  Two extending to the top left, two to the top right, two to the bottom left, and two to the bottom right.), but I said no because I’d given it a name, and you can’t kill an animal with a name.  In an effort to embrace the Hawaiian wildlife and reduce my sever spider anxiety, I named him Harry.  “Harry” because one, he’s very hairy, and two, anything even remotely referencing Harry Potter makes me happy inside.

So, as I procrastinate going back to my room, I find myself blogging.  Here's a picture of the contraption I constructed, which was genius and would have worked perfectly if I had managed to use it quicker than the spider could run. 

Spider Update #1:  I just went back to check on the spider, and it still hasn’t emerged.  I’m afraid that if I try to move the nightstand, the spider will run under the bed. Sorry for the play-by-play, but it’s the only way I’m keeping myself sane about it. For the record, I’m talking a tropical spider, here.  Like the size of my hand.  No joke.  Here are two pictures I took (they're blurry... I was shaking too bad to get a clear shot), but don’t let the pictures fool you… Google “Cane Spider” and you’ll see pictures that better represent its size.

Spider Update #2: And now, I’m back in my room starting to unpack.  I waited a day and a half to put things away just in case I hated it here and wanted to fly back immediately.  But as it turns out, Hawaii isn’t half bad… so I think I’ll unpack.  Plus, my suitcases have been sitting on my floor, and I don’t want that spider to get anywhere NEAR them. 

I’ve just thought of something.  Perhaps the spider was going for the bag of peanut M&Ms (courtesy of JC… shout-out!) on my nightstand.  Are spiders attracted to sugar?  I’m going to eat them all right away, just in case. 

Spider Update #3:  I think the jet-lag is actually working to my advantage… I’m so tired and mentally incapacitated that I’m doing something completely unprecedented—going to bed when there’s a Very Large Spider three feet from me.  I’m going to pull the sheet up over my head and tuck it in under the pillow, and hopefully I’ll be exhausted enough to fall asleep.  If not, I’ll be sleeping on the living room couch.  And for the record, when I say “living room,” I mean gigantic open room that’s 2/3 marble and 1/3 glass wall overlooking the ocean.  And when I say “couch,” I mean golden, sculpted, ornate structure that is too pristine to even sit on, let alone sleep on.  But my only other option would be my bathtub, which is HUGE, but probably uncomfortable as it is also constructed of marble. 

Wish me luck… goodnight loves!